What EVERYBODY Gets Wrong About Submissive Wives in the Bible! It’s NOT control!

Morning friends, it’s Alexander again from the Ascension Academy. I know we’re gonna talk about submission again, but it’s a big topic, especially right now since Trump won and sort of the old traditional values are coming back.

Watch the full clip here:

The Danger of Extremes in Values

This is actually what people want, but we have to be careful not to go into the wrong direction. After two decades of very heavy feminism and liberal ideals, we must ensure we don’t swing too far back into the far-right extremist misogynistic area.

For this, we have God. God tells us everything exactly how we should do it.

What Submission Truly Means

I recently tweeted about the true meaning of submission in old Hebrew, and here’s what I said: submission is better translated as “beneficial adversary.” If you use this perspective for your submissive wife, it changes everything. It becomes king and queen, not king and slave.

Many people misunderstand this concept. Feminists often believe submission means a woman has no agency, must follow every command, and loses her identity. But that’s not what submission means, especially not from the biblical or Hebrew perspective.

Modern Misunderstandings of Biblical Concepts

The modern world has given words like submission and patriarchy a bad connotation. Patriarchy, for example, just means “father rule.” It’s about leading, taking responsibility, and shouldering blame when things go wrong. It’s not tyranny — it’s leadership through love and responsibility.

Think of it like parenting. You don’t give your children everything they want because it wouldn’t be good for them. You discipline, guide, and nurture them to become great people.

Submission Applies to Both Genders

The same principle applies to marriage, and even to yourself as a man. It’s not about controlling others but leading yourself with discipline first. Sometimes that means not giving yourself or your wife what you want because you know it isn’t best for your family.

Society’s Fallout: Lack of Proper Leadership

Look around, and you’ll see the consequences of a lack of proper patriarchal leadership. Consider women like Lily Phillips (or whatever her name was), who slept with 100 men in 24 hours for a “world record.” That’s soul-crushing. A proper patriarch would have guided her to respect herself and value her body, leading to a more fulfilling life with a loving husband and children.

The Bible: A Holistic Approach to Leadership

Some people misuse the Bible by cherry-picking verses, like Ephesians 5:4, which says, “Wives ought to be submissive to their husbands in everything.” You can’t just pick one verse and ignore the rest.

Jesus’s treatment of women is a perfect example. He saw women as equals in value to men in God’s eyes. But there is a difference in rank and responsibility. Men are called to lead the household, bearing all the responsibility and blame when things go wrong.

The Natural Desire for Masculine Leadership

When women reject submission or men fail to lead, I ask: Do you, as a woman, want to take on the full weight of financial and household responsibility? Do you want to carry the mortgage payments, the work stress, and everything else?

Statistically, women don’t. Even when they try, the lack of balance often erodes intimacy and connection in their marriage.

It’s natural for a woman to desire a strong, capable man to lead her, just as it’s natural for a man to be drawn to a soft, feminine woman. This is how we are wired. You can’t fight nature.

Leadership Through Love and Sacrifice

Jesus taught us to lead from love, sacrifice, and understanding. He sacrificed himself for humanity, taking all the blame for our sins. As men, we are called to do the same for our families — sacrificing our dreams, time, and comfort for their well-being.

In return, a wife submits to her husband physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. But this submission doesn’t mean blind obedience. A good leader values his wife’s input, respects her feelings, and makes decisions with her best interest in mind.

The Difference Between a Patriarch and a Tyrant

A tyrant does whatever he wants and forces others to comply. A patriarch, on the other hand, seeks the truth and serves the best interests of his people. He listens to his wife, considers her feelings and opinions, and leads with love and understanding.

This dynamic requires trust. A woman needs to feel safe and secure to open up fully to her husband. This trust is built through consistent love, care, and leadership.

Love and Affirmation: The Key to a Strong Relationship

As a man, you must show your wife love daily — not just in words, but through actions. Buy her flowers, do something kind for her without being asked, and remind her how much you value her.

This love and affirmation create a safe space for her to trust your leadership. And as she submits to you, you must thank her and acknowledge her femininity. Tell her how much you appreciate her trust and submission.

Leading with Responsibility, Not Control

Ultimately, leadership is not about control; it’s about responsibility. A true patriarch sacrifices, loves, and leads his family with their best interests at heart. He doesn’t always give them what they want, but he gives them what they need.

By following Christ’s example and teaching, we can create stronger families, healthier relationships, and ultimately, a more fulfilling life for everyone involved.